Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis 2:18)
Understanding the phrase “I will make a helper suitable for him” would change our marriages. God did not say, “I will create a perfect wife.” Or, “This wife I am making for Adam will do no wrong.” That thought would be blown in the next chapter as Eve was the first of our race to listen to the Enemy’s voice and disobey God, opening a Pandora’s box of sin.
What He did create was a “helper suitable.” The idea is a complement or completer. The mate God created for Adam was to be one who would join him in this life. Physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, she was made to complement him so that, together, they would be able to have what they needed in another human to navigate the human side of life. But God knew, and we should remember, that they would both be sinful.
WE FORGET THIS
Adam and his wife both had weaknesses; both had faults, as we see in Genesis 3. We forget this as we look at our spouses. We appreciate their strengths but often loathe their weaknesses. We think those sinful spots of their behavior slow us down and keep us from becoming what we are designed to be. That they are imprisoning us. And the sinful response is to disdain them and even run from the marriage.
But we are leaving God out of the equation. He knows what He’s doing. If you respond correctly, with the Holy Spirit’s aid, to your mate’s weaknesses, even those places can help you grow into Christlikeness.
For instance, let’s say your mate has a critical spirit and vents it on you regularly. You can react to that spirit by defending, criticizing, and arguing. Or, you can say, “Lord, thank You that You know what I need. I need to learn how to love someone unconditionally. Therefore, as my mate exhibits this weakness, I want to respond with unconditional, non-critical love by Your grace. I am no longer a prisoner of these circumstances but am in a classroom of opportunity. Each encounter of their weakness and my right response builds my character.”
RESPONDING SPIRITUALLY
If you will not REACT, but RESPOND thoughtfully and spiritually, you will discover that even in their weaknesses, your mate is helping you, completing you. And your right responses will communicate unconditional love, just like Jesus, to your mate. You are leaving room for the Holy Spirit to convict and change them as you defer the “changing” of your mate to Him. (And, by the way, He’s good at that job!)
God made both you and your mate—even with your weak spots—to be used to complete each other. Accept them as they are and thank God for the gracious gift He has given you in this life!
Father, thank You for the gift You gave me in my mate. Thank You that, even in their weakest spots, You can use them to make me what I should be. Give me the eyes to see this and the grace to accept them as they are. Help me to respond in ways that they feel unconditional love from me, just as I feel it from You.
